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Today, an education consultant in Columbus, Ohio shares how writing a letter unlocked the dream of a family “compound” in her new neighborhood.
The basics
Age: 54
Marital status: Divorced
Occupation: Education consultant
What was your home experience when you were growing up?
My parents owned the homes we lived in. I didn’t think a lot about homeownership, but I did assume I would own at some point.
Why did you start thinking about buying?
I had been married over 20 years and suddenly found myself divorced. To say it was a shock is an understatement.
We had to sell our house, and within a month of selling I turned 50. I couldn’t help but think that my life was not going where I thought it was going and that I had nowhere to live.
How did your search start?
My best friend happened to live next door to my cousin, so I knew this neighborhood was where I wanted to be. If I moved there, I would gain instant community.
How long did you look before finding your home?
Only about a month or two. I knew what I wanted, so I didn’t shop around.
How did you end up finding your home?
Every day, I went on vision walks, picturing the house I saw myself in. That led me to the street behind my cousin and the house that backed up to his.
I wrote the owners a letter saying: “I know this sounds crazy, but my cousin is the neighbor behind you. If you ever think about moving, please let me know.”
The worst that could happen was that they might say no.
What happened next?
Three days later, their real estate agent called me. As it turned out, the family had just started working with her because they needed to sell due to an out-of-state family emergency.
What was the buying process like?
When the real estate agent shared the price that she thought the home would be listed at, I let her know that the price was a little more than I could afford.
Because she was able to be the listing agent as well as my agent, she would receive double commission if the deal went through.
She was amazingly generous and offered to take a break on her commission, which put the home in the range that I qualified for. That made it a done deal.
How did you finance the home?
I was able to use money from the sale of my previous home, which we sold after my divorce, to do a conventional loan with a 20% down payment.
So how did the compound happen?
Together, my cousin, my best friend, and I owned three parts of a square. I opened up the fence to my cousin’s and my friend’s backyards.
We quickly started calling it the compound, and joked that we would have to decide who would live in that fourth house in the square.
What happened with the fourth house?
A year and a half ago, my sister also needed a change. I started thinking it would be great if she lived in that fourth house. Those neighbors had to do a quick sale as they were transferred to Hawaii on business.
We were friends with them, so we learned this news quickly. I told them about my sister and that their home would be perfect for her.
They hired a real estate professional to come up with the right sale price, and it was in line with what my sister was expecting and could afford. It was a fast sale, and everybody benefitted.
How did you know you could live this closely with friends and family?
It only works when people respect your boundaries and you have to be able to have hard conversations.
My home is often the gathering place, and everyone knows that when I’m done having people over, I say, “Everyone needs to get out.”
I say it lovingly, and my people just know that it means I am ready for bed and it’s time for them to go home and we can pick up again tomorrow.
What do you like best about this living arrangement?
This constant flow of community. My friend will come over most nights, and we watch TV. Or my cousin will come to use the hot tub. When I make chicken noodle soup, I message the group and we have dinner together. My cousin loves grilling, so when he needed a grill, we all chipped in because we all benefit.
It’s also a huge help when emergencies arise. My dog had a problem a few weeks ago, and someone drove me to the vet and someone else fed my other dogs while I was out.
What advice would you give a group of friends looking to do what you did?
Get creative. You don’t need to buy four separate houses; you could purchase a larger house together.
You could buy land and build four houses—maybe four tiny homes. You could even buy four condos in a condo complex. It could look like anything.