Put this half-baked idea back in the oven.
An influencer thought they’d take advantage of sweltering New York temps last week by attempting to whip up a batch of cookies in a subway station, as seen in a viral Instagram video.
“It’s almost 100 degrees in NYC so I’m going to see if it’s possible to bake these chocolate chip cookies,” Matt Peterson declared in the clip while toting a tray of dough balls.
There hasn’t been a three-figure temp day yet in Gotham in 2025, although the mercury did hit around 88 degrees F last Thursday — right around when the clip was posted.
Of course, subway platforms are known to be hotter than street-level temperatures, sometimes exceeding 100 degrees during the summer due to limited ventilation, subway braking systems and, ironically, train cooling units.
To see if the subterranean sweat lodge might be toasty enough to serve as an underground oven, Peterson placed the tray of raw treats on an undisclosed platform.
“I found a good little hiding area,” he declared to his 300,000 followers. “I’m going to leave them here. Come back tonight. See if they bake.”
Viewers were skeptical of this off-the-rails-recipe with many speculating that rodents and other variables would get to the cookie precursor long before the heat did.
“Girl those are gonna get s–t on omg,” exclaimed one naysayer, while another wrote, “They’ve touched the subway air they literally are inedible now.”
“Some homeless man gonna take those dude,” warned a third.
“Pizza rat is changing his food of choice just this once,” joked one quipster in reference to the city’s iconic slice-scarfing rodent.
Thankfully, this metro Martha Stewart didn’t actually leave the batch unattended like the video insinuated. The influencer clarified in a followup clip that he “sat in this subway station guarding these [cookies] all day long” to avoid having his dough swiped.
He referenced a previous natural baking experiment where he left cookie dough unattended atop a porta-potty at Coachella in 100-degree heat, only for these misfortune cookies to topple off into the dirt when a bathroom-goer opened the door.
This time, the Vlogger wasn’t going to let the chocolate chips fall where they may.
After 8 hours in the subway, during which Peterson said he sweated buckets, he claimed there was a slight change.
“They’re not NOT baked,” said the content creator, who noted that the big one looked a little “doughy” but felt the little ones were slightly cooked.
When the subterranean baker ran the specimens past one passersby, however, they said they looked “pretty raw.”
Peterson eventually admitted that they indeed seemed more like cookie ceviche.
One Instagram commenter labeled the stunt a “half-baked idea.”
Baking experts agree that cookies are best baked at between 325 to 375 degrees — a lot hotter than a subway station — for around 10 minutes, depending on the desired level of crunch.
That being said, freelance foodies have managed to heat their vittles using non-conventional methods.
During a far more successful jerry-rigged baking experiment last summer, Arizona park rangers cooked banana bread inside a vehicle during a sweltering heatwave, bringing new meaning to the term “sun-baked.”
The loaves were cooked for around four hours on the dashboard, which hit 211 degrees Fahrenheit in the afternoon — the equivalent of a cool oven setting.
By the time the rangers took this desert dessert out of the car-beque, the confection’s exterior had been browned, although it was still a “bit squishy on the inside,” they described.